Please come back to this post, dear readers. I may fill this with more words when I can get through the pain.
No matter what I did, it never stopped. This didn’t feel like a mother’s love.
The nightmare is over, but it keeps coming back
I didn’t even know I had a voice
Absolutely I attempted.
In 1993, I was falsely accused of rape… by my then-girlfriend’s roommate. I thought I was guilty until a real survivor told me I wasn’t.
In the early 2000’s, I was stalked and sexually assaulted online. I just had no idea it would be a young woman engaged to be married.
It wasn’t the first time I got more than I bargained for.
The horror. The agony. And for years, I never understood the burning, smoldering rage that would come welling up from deep inside me.
I don’t think society gets it.
I don’t think any of my abusers will ever get it.
If only they could look into my eyes, and see.
Related posts:
Empowering boys and men: The psychologically/emotionally abusive mother and her son: Learn to say NO!
The Forgotten Ones: Maternal Abusers and their Victims: a Pilot Study
the tao of jaklumen 
July 31, 2014 at 21:30
It’s horrifying to have to go through any of that, no matter what gender you are. It’s not right. It’s not fair and it’s NEVER okay.
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July 31, 2014 at 21:41
But society asks me to hang my head because men perps are greater numbers.
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July 31, 2014 at 21:51
I don’t agree with that! You shouldn’t hang your head if you’re male. You should hang your head if you are abusive. Demanding that men hang their heads because most abus
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July 31, 2014 at 21:53
Demanding that men hang their heads because most abusers are male is like asking women to hang their heads because so many of us are bitchy during that time of the month. It’s wrong!
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July 31, 2014 at 21:58
I know that you know that. I am not confident society at large does. I am not even sure how much WordPress is aware.
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July 31, 2014 at 21:59
Well, I say it here to help them BECOME aware.
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July 31, 2014 at 23:54
Blessed by your voice.
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August 1, 2014 at 07:38
It’s good to see you here, Athena.
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August 1, 2014 at 18:27
I really didn’t want to press Like. Powerful words here, Jak. Important ones that need to be read by all. 🙂
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August 1, 2014 at 19:39
It’s a sad reality that I have to admit it happened to me. It’s harder for guys– we’re not really kindly encouraged to talk about it, and when we can, a lot of professionals are NOT equipped to help us. I say this from bitter personal experience.
Thanks again for commenting and passing the word along.
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August 2, 2014 at 08:24
I applaud you for talking about your horrible experience. Abuse is NEVER okay and you’re helping people by speaking up. Truly.
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August 2, 2014 at 09:08
I certainly hope so… I often get the impression that society at large isn’t really listening. It’s different for guys; we aren’t really encouraged to talk about stuff like this. In fact, we’re often disbelieved.
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August 2, 2014 at 20:13
So sorry, Jaklumen. So very sorry.
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August 2, 2014 at 20:19
Thank you, Kitt. Sometimes, though, I wish my guy friends cared more.
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August 2, 2014 at 21:34
Perhaps they do care but do not know how to say so. Men are taught to be stoic at their own emotional and spiritual expense.
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August 2, 2014 at 21:46
Society doesn’t know how to deal with any abuse, much less abuse inflicted on boys or men. We haven’t been conditioned to think that this can happen to boys. Keep making your voice heard, don’t let silence or apathy or misunderstanding keep you from saying what you need to say. You are so courageous to share your experience, don’t let anyone or any ideas quiet you.
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August 2, 2014 at 22:05
No matter what your gender, it is not right. (hugs)
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