the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero

Sojourn of Torment


Please come back to this post, dear readers. I may fill this with more words when I can get through the pain.

No matter what I did, it never stopped. This didn’t feel like a mother’s love.

The nightmare is over, but it keeps coming back

I didn’t even know I had a voice

Absolutely I attempted.

In 1993, I was falsely accused of rape… by my then-girlfriend’s roommate. I thought I was guilty until a real survivor told me I wasn’t.

In the early 2000’s, I was stalked and sexually assaulted online.  I just had no idea it would be a young woman engaged to be married.

It wasn’t the first time I got more than I bargained for.

The horror. The agony. And for years, I never understood the burning, smoldering rage that would come welling up from deep inside me.


I don’t think society gets it.

I don’t think any of my abusers will ever get it.


If only they could look into my eyes, and see.



Related posts:

Empowering boys and men: The psychologically/emotionally abusive mother and her son: Learn to say NO!

The Forgotten Ones: Maternal Abusers and their Victims: a Pilot Study

Author: jaklumen

Wherever you see "jaklumen", that's me- the username is still unique as of the current year. Be aware that the facet you see, is only a small part of the me that is me.

17 thoughts on “Sojourn of Torment

  1. It’s horrifying to have to go through any of that, no matter what gender you are. It’s not right. It’s not fair and it’s NEVER okay.


  2. Blessed by your voice.


  3. I really didn’t want to press Like. Powerful words here, Jak. Important ones that need to be read by all. 🙂


    • It’s a sad reality that I have to admit it happened to me. It’s harder for guys– we’re not really kindly encouraged to talk about it, and when we can, a lot of professionals are NOT equipped to help us. I say this from bitter personal experience.

      Thanks again for commenting and passing the word along.


  4. I applaud you for talking about your horrible experience. Abuse is NEVER okay and you’re helping people by speaking up. Truly.


    • I certainly hope so… I often get the impression that society at large isn’t really listening. It’s different for guys; we aren’t really encouraged to talk about stuff like this. In fact, we’re often disbelieved.


  5. So sorry, Jaklumen. So very sorry.


  6. Society doesn’t know how to deal with any abuse, much less abuse inflicted on boys or men. We haven’t been conditioned to think that this can happen to boys. Keep making your voice heard, don’t let silence or apathy or misunderstanding keep you from saying what you need to say. You are so courageous to share your experience, don’t let anyone or any ideas quiet you.


  7. No matter what your gender, it is not right. (hugs)


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