the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero


Leave a comment

For the people, by the people: Joe Cheray

A quick disclaimer

Generally speaking, I avoid talking about certain subjects– particularly politics, religion, money, and sex.  People can get very personally invested in such topics.  But I would like to make an exception this time.

A friend I met on Twitter would like to run to represent Kansas Congressional District 2, U.S. House of Representatives.  She needs some help with seed money, and I’ll tell you why, dear readers, why I am voicing my support.

A voice for the “average” Joe

I decided to run because I feel that the average person like myself is not being represented not only in Kansas but nationally as well. I am the average Kansan..

..I know what it is like to rise above circumstances. Those circumstances have shaped me into who I am today – a strong individual who can take my experiences and use them to help others who are not able to help themselves.

quote taken from Joe Cheray: Help me in my run for Kansas US House of Rep CD 2, at YouCaring – Compassionate Crowdfunding

Joe Cheray – A voice for the average Joe.  I think that could be a good campaign slogan.  Yet I think it’s important I emphasize that Joe has responded exceptionally to what a so-called “average” person can face.  Domestic violence, childhood sexual abuse, poverty, absentee parents, and broken family upbringing can face anyone; these issues know no gender, race, creed, or cultural background.  I have had the great privilege to get to know Joe through Twitter support chats addressing these issues, because I have experienced some of these issues myself.  I understand that she is very frustrated with how these issues are being addressed in her state.

At the same time, however, she knows some of my frustrations.  I’m not from Kansas, but instead, I live in Washington state.  Again, though, I know these issues still affect anyone, both in rural and urban cities.  I can tell you of friends that experienced these things that live in cities like Tacoma, but also friends that once lived in Yakima, where Cimmy was born and raised, and where I lived with her for a time.

I have grown up in rural, small town Kansas. I have also lived in some of the bigger cities in Kansas. So I understand the challenges that rural Kansans face as well as those that live in the cities I have lived in.

Again, I’m certain that Joe will say the same- that so many challenges do not come based on where you live or how well off the people who raised you were.

My funds are tight- 3 out of 4 of the people in my family are on disability, and yes, that means I have a child with special needs as well.  Please help me get the word out; I would like to see a friend have a chance to make a difference in our national government.  Regardless of whether the campaign run is successful, or not, I think Joe and her effort deserves all the help she can get.  Thanks.

See also The hidden story behind Candle in the Window

Candle in the window

2 Comments

Bringing this up from the archive; #domesticviolence was an actual thing for us. (Really, really.)

the tao of jaklumen

Candle in the window by jaklumen & family
Candle in the window, a photo by jaklumen & family on Flickr.

I love you, my dear, every time I go

You have a way to let me know

No matter how upset I may be

I know when I return, I can always see

That signal waiting home for me

Welcoming me home with light so low

That sign so warm, that candle in the window.

A candle in the window like this always let me know that it was okay to come home, after an argument.

Prayers and warm regards to Bill Hamilton (who is dealing with COPD), samara’s BFF (who is dealing with cancer), and a good friend of mine (who is dealing with T-cell lymphoma).

Enhanced by Zemanta

View original post


3 Comments

TToT: Seizing the Sword of Trauma and a path to healing

I’ve shared this video before as a mashup, but I’m showing it again because I think the juxtaposition is important– the One Ring of Sauron is compared to the Autobot Matrix of Leadership.  On the one hand, Tolkien presents an artifact that is wrought of evil, and that will enslave all life in Middle Earth if it is not cast back from whence it came.  On the other hand, the Autobot Matrix is presented as a mantle of leadership, that when unlocked, “will light our darkest hour.”

How can this be?

I take inspiration from Angela Shelton, who compares trauma to a virtual sword, but through the process of healing, can be drawn out as strength and protection.

Image credit: angelashelton.com from “Be Your Own Hero: Healing Workbook” by Angela Shelton, with illustrations by James Murray

Her first workbook was aimed at women, but she found that men needed a resource, too.

Ever since I started speaking out about child sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault, I’ve heard from male survivors right in line with the females.

That goes for perpetrators too. Males are not the only ones who harm adults and children. Women are perpetrators too, in sexual abuse and domestic violence. They can be very sick and twisted too!

Victims of abuse are just that – victims. Luckily, the ones I hear from are the victims who become survivors and then move from surviving to thriving.

Abuse is not a “Women’s Issue” it’s a People Problem!

YES!  Someone who gets it!

It’s not been easy, and it’s been terribly lonely.  Let me tell you again, dear readers:

The reason why I started blogging 10 years ago was so I could face the pain of the abuse my mother heaped on me as a child, and to deal with all the fallout that caused.

I wish I could say I found the answers sooner, but it has been a long, slow process.  It took me years just to figure out (and quite all by myself, unfortunately) why I was so angry.  It took me many years more to learn that what my mother did was NOT acceptable– people I realized I could trust told me so.

I am getting some wonderful help from some marvelous women I met on Twitter: Rachel Thompson, Bobbi Parish, and Athena Moberg.  I can’t remember all how it unfolded, but I found out about some wonderful resources they created and coordinate, and… wow.  I’ve been learning more things, more effective information, then I have ever learned so far in over 30 years of counseling/therapy.

Specifically, I started participating in a Twitter chat called #SexAbuseChat, which is a support chat for survivors of sexual abuse.  Then I was informed Athena and Bobbi were starting a Google Hangout for the No More Shame Project– a live stream of them discussing subjects from the chat.

Well, I said then some things I’ve said now– and I was deeply honored that Athena gave me a shoutout twice for it… but I want you to know, dear readers, that I don’t write this to brag, but just that I am SO grateful.  I was grateful to be receiving resources that FINALLY were helpful and useful– even if some of it were confirmations that I was doing some things right!  I am grateful to have my expressions of gratitude acknowledged, and to be one small example that the resources are doing good, and that they work.

Image credit: Athena Moberg and the No More Shame Project. One of the things these ladies really helped me to understand was how I was recycling through old cycles of trauma with triggers of new trauma, but more importantly, how I could begin to manage that cycle, to avoid and lessen that response. It fit very well with my other work in recovery.

A request, dear readers… please, I ask for your support.  I assure you that also I am starting to speak up, more men are silent.  I can think of at least one person who has said very little that I am aware of, and I won’t say who it is because, well, it was said in confidence, and it’s not my story to tell.

Will you support me, dear readers?  Will you support the wounded men in your lives, so that they may have peace, and stand for peace?  How will you spread the word?  Do you agree that abuse is not just a women’s issue, but a danger to all people, regardless of gender?