the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero


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TMFI, Mom

I work very hard not to badmouth or backbite.  Sometimes, though, I feel I have to share the “holy schmoly, did this person REALLY just say that?”  Now, because I’m assuming you haven’t dug through my blog archives (because the last time that happened to me, I got me a pervy female stalker)– I will tell you that usually, the person I name is Crazy Aunt.  Crazy Aunt who I haven’t actually spoken to in years, but, y’know, because she’s married to Dad’s older brother, more often than not, I hear some whack quote she said from him.

Oh, but no.  Not this time.

Cimmy was in a funk so I took her to lunch, picking up some images of my spine along the way.  (The why for those images is a story for another time.)  We decided to stop by my folks’ house to grab some frozen/canned goods– some of which we had helped to preserve.  We couldn’t linger very long, because our kids were getting home from school.  In fact, we had to call our daughter and ask her to watch for her brother’s school bus.  (He’s on the SpEd bus route, and the driver will take him back to school if someone doesn’t show her that they are home for him.)

My mother proceeded, on our way out the door, to tell us a bizarre tale about the co-worker who apparently will take her place once Mom retires from Social Security in May.  She warned us with a “normally I wouldn’t tell you this, but since you don’t know this person, I’m going to tell you anyways…” and although she was talking to Cimmorene (or at least Cimmy thought she was talking to just her), I said, “okay, TMI warning, go ahead,” well, we were not ready for what came next.

Apparently, co-worker’s vagina and bladder (anus? I forget) were falling out, and she needed a bladder sling put in AND a hysterectomy done at the same time…

Oh dear God.  WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING INFORMATION.

But since Cimmy and I are sick fucks, we pondered it out loud on the car ride home, far from her ears.  (Ironically, see, she’d complain that WE were sick.)  Cimmy said it was like she pulled out a frozen herring and slapped us with it.  I said, ‘no, I think it’s more like she pulled a frozen herring out of her vagina and slapped us with it.’  Cimmy pointed out that then it wouldn’t be so frozen anymore.  (I’m not so sure of that, but, y’know…)  We then proceeded to discuss the eww of mixed slime and the smell of real fish with… hot tuna.

Yes, dear readers, the only way to recover from someone telling us something disgusting is to make it even MORE disgusting.

Shout-outs to Aussa Lorens.  Seriously, she asked recently if we would be brave enough to talk smack about our crazy workplaces as she has (ironically, hers is a psych ward!)… well, we aren’t employed in the public workforce, but, this is what we’ve got.

I’m not too big on blog prompt questions, still, it seems.  If you’ve got a story where you saw or heard something you can’t bleach your brain enough from, please let me know in the comments.  Please tell me before I trot out the story about Hannah at LiveJournal making a post about a Valentine’s card with fanfic about Snape buggering Harry Potter, and that she thought it was funny as hell.  Oh wait, I just did.  Seriously… please share, dear readers.  Surely some of you have freakish family members who can’t seem to control what comes out of their mouths.  (Bitter bonus points if it was a family member that abused you… yes, dark sardonic humor…)


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To write love on her arms

Two years ago, I learned that my daughter turned to cutting to deal with the crushing stress in her life.

She turned to it again two nights ago when Cimmorene lost it with Boy when he would not go to bed for several hours.  Cimmy let me know, because she knew I wouldn’t be angry– how could I?  I dealt with it myself.

I cut myself years ago when I was in a stressful romantic relationship that ended with false accusations of rape.  Cimmy wasn’t around then, but she was when I started cutting again, as the university we were attending was soaked in scandal, and the music department especially was mired in dirty politics between professors.  When she miscarried before our son was born… more cuts.

So all I could do was listen to my daughter, and tell her more about my struggles with this issue.

I want her to continuing taking pencils, pens, and such to paper– not a knife to her arms.


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jak’s turn to post some artwork

In my effort to encourage Princess and Cimmorene to further develop their graphic arts skills, I dug up some images of my own from an old physical archive.  I’m not sure of the dates but I’m pretty sure they’re from the early ’90s.  As they are presented here, they’re scans of freehand sketches, with a little bit of digital editing.  I’m not finished with them yet– they’ll need more digital cleanup and coloring.  In case you were wondering, the second image was originally drawn on college-rule lined paper, and I haven’t eliminated all those lines yet.

The final results will be posted to jak & Cimmy’s Journal Jar.

(Note to stephrogers: rainbows!)

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The Dragon’s Lair Original Artwork, by Princess

For all you that have loved our daughter’s artwork, she recently completed a commission for Cimmorene for her blog The Dragon’s Lair! Comments are closed at the tao of jaklumen as really now, you’ve got to see how it looks as the new blog header!

The Dragon's Lair

The Dragon's Lair Original Artwork, by Princess

This picture was created by my daughter, Princess. She drew it in pencil, then her father scanned it into the computer and she took it from there. I have often felt bad about using borrowed artwork for The Dragon’s Lair header. This picture isn’t borrowed. It was commissioned. Please direct any and all comments regarding the picture to the artist. I’ll make sure she gets them.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Treasure II

Here’s another photo inspired by this week’s Photo Challenge at the Daily Post:

Our shadow box.  I removed the glass temporarily to get a good shot without reflections

Our shadow box. I removed the glass temporarily to get a good shot without reflections

Items, clockwise from left:

  • My tassel from community college, with the Phi Beta Kappa honor society logo
  • English: A digital representation of a crest b...A brooch pin bearing the sign of Clan Bruce, as Cimmy claims Robert the Bruce as an ancestor
  • An event pin from the First Night Tri-Cities, WA event  in 2007.
  • My graduation tassels from high school- one with school colors and one with white for Honor Society
  • A pin with the Gomberg Kites logo.  Kiting is one of my hobbies
  • One of the baby spoons we got from the hospital when Princess was born
  • A Christmas ornament bearing the year Cimmorene and I were married

Please also see Weekly Photo Challenge: Treasure for more treasure involving Cimmorene as there is too much involving me here 😉

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Treasure

This is my wife, Cimmorene.

A selfie Cimmy took for her Loving Myself Through Gratitude blog.

A selfie Cimmy took for her Loving Myself Through Gratitude blog.

I treasure her, and I treasure her commitment to character.

Young Women (organization)

Cimmy created this while working on the LDS Young Women Personal Progress program, to be ready to help our daughter when she does it.

Cimmy created this while working on the LDS Young Women Personal Progress program, to be ready to help our daughter when she does it.

As usual, this post was inspired by the Daily Post at WordPress.com for the Weekly Photo Challenge.

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My Funny Valentine: Monday Monster Mashup meets the Weekly Writing Challenge!

In today’s entry, I take the Monday Monster Mashup and mash it even further with the Weekly Writing Challenge!

As usual, comments are closed at the tao of jaklumen. If you aren’t already following us at Jak & Cimmy’s Journal Jar, why not do so now? Thanks!

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jak & Cimmy's Journal Jar

What’s your Valentine’s story?

Today’s prompt comes from the WP Weekly writing challenge: Weekly Writing Challenge: My Funny Valentine?

First, the MASHUP:

Then, the photo:

12 roses for 12 years 2nd shot

Now, the story:

Our wedding anniversary is on December 12th.  Sometimes, it gets eaten up in the Christmas fervor.  In 2010, we had a church Christmas dinner on the 12th.  While Cimmorene said she was fine with attending a ward Christmas dinner on our anniversary (and we did), I didn’t think this was sufficient.

So come February, I decided I needed to make up for it.  I figured I would act early, and beat the Valentine’s Day rush.  On a whim, I stopped in to the local Just Roses flower shop, and asked for 12 white short-stemmed roses, in a vase.  They had such on hand.  Wow.  I told one of the florists, as she was ringing up my purchase, “If I do this right, she’ll…

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