the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero


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Why I don’t mind having BPD

Met Muddly Mum by way of a Twitter chat called #BPDChat (@officialBPDChat). I deal with complex PTSD, but I’ve found great relief in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (#DBT), which I found out by way of others in this community. Despite hardships with cPTSD, I too have found a silver lining in the grey cloud. Please read.

Muddly Mum Blog

*may contain triggers*

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in May 2005 after having had a breakdown in November 2004. I was referred to the local Therapeutic Community and after two years at three days a week I was much better. I had two more children, launched my own business and managed my BPD on the whole for nine years. I actually thought I was just a bit low in September and it gradually got worse until after Christmas I started self harming again to try and shut up the noisy intrusive thoughts. I took an overdose about a ten days ago to shut up my head for good. It seemed a logical step at the time! Thank God I’ve not wrecked my liver. So as you can tell it’s tough at the moment. I’ve got through this before and at this moment I feel I could beat…

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REBLOG: TRU Adult Colo(u)ring Book Project

Hey guys- my dear wife has volunteered to help Athena Moberg and Bobbi Parish in gathering submissing for an adult (meditative) coloring book, to raise funds for Trauma Recovery University.  TRU is an organization dedicated to helping survivors of child sexual abuse.  These funds will help make conferences and other resources possible.

Please help spread the word?  Please see the following below (and click on the link for more information):

This year, Trauma Recovery University (TRU) is putting together a colo(u)ring book which we intend to sell to raise funds.  Cimmy has agreed to be the point of contact for this project.  All the ba…

Source: TRU Adult Colo(u)ring Book Project


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The Lines Project

Please also see Boundaries. Trust. To write love on my arms. for a better understanding why The Lines Project is so intensely important to me. Yes, I deal with self-harm.   But please, go read, and…

Source: The Lines Project

(re-Pressed with Press This! for those that might be looking for this article on the tao of jaklumen)


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Boundaries. Trust. To write love on my arms.

It’s been one year and one week- and I’ve found others on Twitter that deal with this, too. NO, it’s not just a teen issue. It’s also not just a female issue. This issue actually knows no gender, age, or other circumstances- anyone can deal with self harm.

the tao of jaklumen

Trigger warning: I am about to write about subjects such as self-harm, self-mutilation, co-dependency, emotional enmeshment, and so on.  There will be at least one photo.  Please, please take care if such things upset you, especially if any of these are issues for you too, dear readers.

Looking back

Yes, I’m going to write about it, now.  Maybe some of you remember To write love on her arms (it’s a short post, so I have included most of it, as follows):

Two years ago, I learned that my daughter turned to cutting to deal with the crushing stress in her life.

She turned to it again two nights ago when Cimmorene lost it with Boy when he would not go to bed for several hours.  Cimmy let me know, because she knew I wouldn’t be angry– how could I?  I dealt with it myself.

I cut myself years ago…

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Happy Mother’s Day, through Good, Bad & The Ugly

I am still working on a post about the Mother Wound concept, so, for now- a post about Mother’s Day, from the archives.

the tao of jaklumen

Mother’s Day can be a mixed bag for me.

My whole blogging experience started out with trying to sort out the anger I had with my mother, trying to heal a lot of inner wounds and self-loathing from past emotional rape and other traumatic experiences.  It didn’t help much that HER mother was also part of the dysfunctionally tangled web that was much of my childhood.

I had to set some of that aside when my mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

That said, I must give credit where credit is due.  I was born and bred to be domestic.  My mother (and my grandmother) taught me a lot of skills as such that have served me very, very well.   I suppose this was easier to impart as I was the only male child.  I know it sparks a small amount of envy at times: I’ve said that I like…

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Blogs by YOU: ask-Lillia-the-fan-troll

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My dear wife gives her Dragon’s Treasure Award to our daughter’s Tumblr– but this is no mere nepotism– this is where her art REALLY shines. Please have a look and give her some blog love.

The Dragon's Lair

Blog ButtonThis week’s recipient of the Dragon’s Treasure Blog award is ask-Lillia-the-fan-troll.  Now, I’m not going to lie to you.  This blog belongs to my daughter.  With that knowledge, I know quite a number of you are going to scream “nepotism” at me.

Hear me out.

My daughter draws nearly everything in this blog HERSELF.  Seriously!  She made up her own cast of characters: 6 trolls and 2 humans.

“Wait.  What?”  I hear you saying.

I hear your confusion and answer it with this:  Homestuck

Don’t ask me to explain.  It’s way too long and complicated for that.  Suffice it to say that, in a nutshell, everyone dies.  In the fandom, however, everyone fights over “‘ships” (short for relationships) which is much more relevant to this because it’s fan made.

Now then, back to why I chose this blog.

This is why.

tumblr_nu6dt38c7h1ucv4n1o1_1280So congratulations, Yellow_Neru.  I hope you display your…

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This gallery contains 6 photos

Candle in the window

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Bringing this up from the archive; #domesticviolence was an actual thing for us. (Really, really.)

the tao of jaklumen

Candle in the window by jaklumen & family
Candle in the window, a photo by jaklumen & family on Flickr.

I love you, my dear, every time I go

You have a way to let me know

No matter how upset I may be

I know when I return, I can always see

That signal waiting home for me

Welcoming me home with light so low

That sign so warm, that candle in the window.

A candle in the window like this always let me know that it was okay to come home, after an argument.

Prayers and warm regards to Bill Hamilton (who is dealing with COPD), samara’s BFF (who is dealing with cancer), and a good friend of mine (who is dealing with T-cell lymphoma).

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