the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero

Taken out of Context and Other Stressors


English: Example Project Context Diagram

English: Example Project Context Diagram (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This post isn’t going to be as polished as I would like.

But as the title indicates, one of them is being taken out of context.  Dear readers, those of you who are actively reading and communicating with me, please rest assured this isn’t you.  Actually, anyone that has even left a “Like”, I assure you, it isn’t you.

I was given a name, but I’m not sure who it was.  This person, however, felt the need to sound the alarm to an extended family member, hmm, like an in-law of an in-law, if you will, over something I said in one paragraph in a very long blog post.  I gave very few specifics, but this person connected the dots in such a way that they thought a Yellow Alert was needed.

Cthulhu Warning

Yeah, this sums it up pretty well, I think. Image credit: Oscar J. Baeza (as seen at Flickr)

And then our telephone rang.  Cimmy answered it, and even after much wrangling like Abbott and Costello in “Who’s On First?” to figure out who’s tongue started wagging in the first place, I still have no idea whom this person might be.

The weather is still wracking my nerves, and today was stressful enough- much shouting, crying, and such from various family members.  Princess put a few more cuts on her arm.  I told her she should use a clean blade, not a soda can.  Now, now, dear readers… I’d rather she not at all.  I was worried she used one of my shaving razors, but yes, I did say that, explaining I thought it better not to risk infection.

And yes, there’s still a lot of hurdles for getting therapy covered.  I don’t want to force her into anything– no way would I want her having similarly terrible experiences as I did.

Author: jaklumen

Wherever you see "jaklumen", that's me- the username is still unique as of the current year. Be aware that the facet you see, is only a small part of the me that is me.

14 thoughts on “Taken out of Context and Other Stressors

  1. Sometimes I think maintaining an anonymous blog would have been the wiser choice. (hugs)

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think I exercised enough discretion, Serins, that the problem is obviously theirs, not mine. Yes, I might have exercised more cautions, but, so much “coulda, shoulda, woulda”, now. This can’t be undone, and worrying about what I should have done will just hold me back.

      I’ve responded with hypervigilance for many, many years; it’s tiring. This person may have thought they were being helpful, but, instead… they stirred up trouble.


  2. Focus on your immediate family. Everything else external is superficial. Friends and family can be supportive and part of the “solution” and if not, then they are part of the problem. Family can be a trigger and like other triggers, should be avoided.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, of course, Vic. I trust in the process.

      Consider a rock thrown into a lake. You’ve seen, I’m sure, the ripples it makes, depending on the size of the rock. If I say, “our lake is pretty deep, and the water will return to stillness in due time”, does this make sense to you?

      I didn’t mention in this post that I called my father and expressed some anxiety over my youngest sister visiting in a few weeks. I might have offered that so you have an example of how things are going well. We had a good talk. Of course, he suggested I discuss this with my therapist when I see her on Monday. DBT is working pretty well for me, and I’m getting pretty good tools to start managing my trauma responses.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I struggle with this whenever I post something personal about my family on FB, Twitter, or elsewhere. I always worry that it’ll “come back to haunt me.” Maybe it does and I just don’t know about it yet (family who continue to shun me could just further shun me without my knowledge). There’s no way to heal, and help others heal without exposing people you’d rather NOT expose. It’s the worst part of family abuse: your honesty is their horror. Your openness is their terror. Your willingness to help others is viewed as “a means to hurt them.” There’s just no winning. So, Jak, please know you are in great company in this battle to get rid of abuse and all of it’s consequences…for the victim, for the victim’s family, for everyone. hugs, Brenda

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So sorry, Jak. I know it pains you that your daughter cuts herself. (((hugs))) to you, Cimmy, and Princess.


    • Sorry it took me so long to reply! For some reason, Akismet flagged your comment as spam, and it was hanging in the spam folder. Took me a while to see it and fish it out.

      A hug with few words does wonders (referring to what Serins said earlier, incidentally). I try to assure her that she is loved. Fortunately, she decided to express her frustration and sorrow in a picture, recently. Although it was pretty raw and dark (and I’ve done artwork like this, myself), she welcomed my quiet hug.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s the second time recently that I’ve been told my comment ended up in spam. Very concerning. I should check my spam folder more often. I wonder what I’m writing that is triggering Akismet to flag it as spam.


        • It might not be what you’re writing, per se– it could be certain links you’ve got on your blog. Some sort of “guilt by association”… I don’t know.

          I unspammed it, and hopefully Akismet sees it as a report for a false positive. This is one of those fiddly things that’s hard to sort unless you get down to nuts and bolts level– in this case, scripts, and possibly code.

          I was having to do this just yesterday, because I was trying to register at the Arc Games site to play Neverwinter. It turns out Arc Games/Perfect World Entertainment uses web beacons and some other advertising practices that I filter out hard with a .hosts file. I had to inspect their registration page just to find out what I had ad-blocked, but gave up… it just wasn’t worth the effort.

          Liked by 1 person

      • Artwork is a perfect way to express frustration and sorrow. Glad that she’s using it to do so.


Walk with me, talk with me. Leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s