Twitter seems to mean more now that I see blogging friends are there.
But oh, what a very frightening ride.
The tragedy in Santa Barbara is shaking the Internet right down to its roots. The blogosphere and Twitter are lighting up, ablaze with #YesAllWomen hashtags and thoughts about how women face harassment on a regular basis.
This was right before I was starting to open up about the horrible abuse I faced at the hands of women.
(leaving out some tweets mentioning harassment at work by women, catcalls crossing the street at uni, and my LiveJournal stalker)
As Suzie said at her blog:
No means no if you’re a man or woman.
The cutting truth is abuse is still abuse. And we’ve got some double standards in Western society.
The girl at LiveJournal that stalked me, once I wandered into her online community, decided I’d be her little slave for her sex jollies. Was I aroused? Disgustingly, yes. But that didn’t mean I really thought it was enjoyable. I was relieved, actually, when Cimmy found out– sometimes, a person doesn’t stop until someone of their same sex or gender sets them straight.
And Cimmy is curious and stubborn enough that yes, she’ll help me out. Incidentally, it works both ways. It’s not always about the hulking white knight saving the lady from a boorish ruffian.
Some folks think flirting is a game. I don’t. So it was exceedingly irritating for girls at a couple of jobs I had to flirt with me when I really wasn’t wanting it, and it was just for their own amusement. The rough, crude way of saying it is “cocktease”, but actually, I wasn’t interested. It was even more irritating when I was dating someone and the girl still wouldn’t stop.
The sorority girls at Whitman were a nightmare. I sincerely regret saying what I did– it was very much a mistake– but that harassment genuinely didn’t end until I pulled all my contact information (including from the alumni database) and left the school, and the town of Walla Walla.
Don’t get me wrong, dear readers. Elliot Rodger is a detestable conceited douchetanker and it’s unfortunate he died before the cops could get to him. It’s even more of a tragedy no one took his mother more seriously– she had warned people he could be dangerous. I hope his father’s Hollywood career is busted, if he’s even the least bit accountable for Elliot’s disgusting attitudes– and yes, I mean before the crimes were committed.
But this opens deep wounds… I can see people crying vengeance for women, but… the three people he stabbed were men. No means no if you’re a man or woman. Violence and abuse is wrong, whether it’s by men or women, and whether it’s towards men or women.
Sure, abuse, harassment, and bullying disproportionately affects women. That doesn’t mean it’s less significant when it does happen to men.