the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero

A 10-year blogging journey: New Life and the VOX years

23 Comments

So next was a post about fleeing the terrible fourplex.  I’ll just link to it, since I don’t feel like summarizing it much.  Then there was a post about crime at the apartment complex (the new place).

After the miscarriage, my next big LiveJournal post was Bun in the oven.  This was nine weeks in, yet I knew it was going to happen.  Right at the moment of conception, even– with me grunting “have my child” at… well, you get the idea, right?  It was like the stars aligned and I knew it had to happen, right then.

October 28, 2006 I left the Camarilla.  Toxic people, toxic effects, but sadly it happened because I realized I’d alienate my sister if I stayed.

by distemper at DeviantArt-- presented by claim of fair use

This was as close as I could get to a parody some LJ’er in the Camarilla made of the old TNT network logo (it said “CAM” instead of “GOTH”). So true, it hurts.

Then we got confirmation the little wombmate was a boy.  We knew this already, as I said– our kids made themselves known.

Twenty days before he was delivered cesarean, I started blogging on VOX.  We were nervous up until the delivery day:

Well, not much of anything of import to say, save that my wife’s recent pregnancy has been a rollercoaster lately.  Last Saturday night and Sunday morning, we had a false alarm– 11 hours in the hospital during nighttime hours, only to find it was likely a UTI that triggered contractions. (March 14, 2007)

It’s down to the last week or two now, but babies do come when they want to. (March 20, 2007)

I felt a mixture of emotions when he finally came out.  He was so quiet, even when I was helping one of the nurses clean off the white stuff off him.  (By constrast, his older sister wailed.)  I was so impressed.  But later, I wondered why I didn’t feel as much excitement with him as I did his sister.  I thought, “If they took him back, that would be okay.”  What was wrong with me?

The Hero's Journey: Ordeal, Death, Rebirth

The Hero’s Journey: Ordeal, Death, Rebirth

Next post in the series: The son becomes the father…

Author: jaklumen

Wherever you see "jaklumen", that's me- the username is still unique as of the current year. Be aware that the facet you see, is only a small part of the me that is me.

23 thoughts on “A 10-year blogging journey: New Life and the VOX years

  1. So how long did that reaction last?

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  2. I think the more children you have, the less thrilling it is.

    My parents were super excited about my brother, and when my mom was pregnant with me, a week after my dad found out he got fixed to ensure that there were no more “whoopsies”

    The only way I could ever think I could compare would be my dogs: first dog, I was so overjoyed that I couldn’t stop smothering her with treats and cuddles. Second dog, I was like “Yaaaay…” and pretty much ignored her. Just how it goes I guess?

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    • There are jokes about this, like the Baby Blues comic strip about what sort of food they gave each of their kids– fancy for Zoe down to calling a Cheerio off the floor good for Wren.

      One of my best friends in high school, university, and college– he’s the eldest of 12 children and has 8 of his own. My sister and I have talked about the kids answering the door and phone ALL the time.

      Pets can compare to kids a bit, but… they aren’t the same. I cringe at the term “fur-children”.

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      • For those of us who can not have children, dogs are the closest things we can have. However, being told at age 19 that I’m infertile, I think the doctor was very wrong.

        So for now, they are my fur babies, but maybe when I have kids of my own, I’ll re-evaluate

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        • Yeah, fair enough. I’ve met others that had dogs, cats, ferrets, etc. — or some combination thereof.

          Since my folks are leaving tomorrow, we are taking care of their cat for a couple of weeks– my mother works, but my dad has been on disability for several years and he needed a furry friend during the day. My right-hand ladies are very happy about the opportunity to look after him (the cat is a he) while they are gone.

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        • Yeah, just dogs for me. Two dopey german shepherds. Very sweet dogs, but absolutely retarded. They keep me sane, they bring a smile to my face everyday, and how many people can say that they wake up to cold, wet noses and sloppy tongues on their face…

          Wait… Scratch that last part. How many people can say they wake up to howli—-

          I’m just going to shut up.

          I love my dogs.

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        • Oh dear. You remind me that I want a dog, very badly. Preferably one that has had therapy/service animal training. I think I mentioned my son has autism, and he’d probably benefit even more. He loves dogs and would be thrilled out of his gourd. But even though we’re in a house now, we don’t really have room for a dog, especially for a large breed that could stand up to his rough tackles. We’d have to build a warm kennel/oversized dog house, and we don’t have money for that, much less regular upkeep.

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        • You’d be surprised how little room they take up. My dogs have beds and kennels, but rarely use them. I can leave my dogs out of their kennels all day and they (usually) don’t destroy the house. My one shepherd doesn’t even know she’s a shepherd. She sits on my lap and welcomes new people into my house in exchange for belly rubs. And my god, she’s so dumb, but she’s so sweet. She’s be a good therapy dog because if I feel even a little depressed, she’s licking my face and forcing me to pet her— the trait of a very good therapy dog.

          The only thing with larger breeds is that they need a big yard. My shepherds are both under 55 pounds and one of them is super lazy. If you want a smaller dog that’s sturdy, try a pug. Pug’s are such people pleasers, they’re very sturdy and can take quite a bit of tackling, and while they are pretty dumb, they’re very sweet and great family companions.

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        • We do have a yard, so… it’s hard to say.

          My next door neighbors of my late childhood and teenage years have had pugs. I’ll take it into consideration.

          Mostly what my son needs is a strong herding dog, because wandering is his biggest issue.

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        • That’s a toughie.

          Honestly? Looking for a dog that is small and sturdy but a good herder.

          Welsh Corgi comes to mind. Small, strong herding instinct, fantastic family dogs, and absolutely hilarious.

          I’d be careful with herding dogs though since your son is autistic. Herding dogs have a nasty habit of nipping since they nip to get their flock back into formation, so if your sun tries to run off, the dog might nip at his feet to get him back in the yard. Or the dog will go with your son and protect him so no harm will come to him.

          I’m very partial to German Shepherds— very, very loyal. Mine are dummies, but they’re mutts and have had previous homes, so that’s probably why they’re not overly protective. If you got one from puppyhood, they’ll guard your house and keep your son very close and safe.

          If you’re considering a dog, Dogs 101 by animal planet gives a great 10 minute review of different breeds, and it’s on youtube.

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        • Hard to say. I did read up on German shepherds. For my needs, border collies seem to be the standard. Autism– well, from what I am seeing, it still seems to be labs. The closest agencies to us are in Portland and Bellingham– still 4 and 5 hours away, respectively.

          I’ve been thinking on this for a few years now. I just… have mixed feelings about Corgis is all– the ex-wife of a friend of mine had one, and she kept it fat and lazy if I remember right. Rather sad, really.

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        • I had a lab growing up, very high strung and active. And I have never heard of a lazy corgi! So weird!

          The only reason I say no to Border Collies is because they’re so independent and so energetic, that if you don’t have a large yard and exercise them a lot, they’ll destroy your house. Also, border collies are not very patient with kids. Regular Collies are the best with kids, border collies are awful.

          I would suggest maybe a shetland sheepdog? They’re miniature collies that are very gentle but will herd everything from your kids to ducks in a pond.

          Sorry, I’m a big dog person. I have a strong belief that a house is not a home without a dog and I’m a firm believer that dogs make your life better in more ways than one. Also, having dogs do improve your health! SCIENCE!

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        • Yes, labs are super active– as they are hunting dogs. So are border collies, as I know they are traditionally trained to herd sheep. All I know is just what the service agencies say. Labs seem to be VERY different when trained for disability service, and I’ve met a few. My long-time p-doc (who has bipolar as I do) had two Black Labs– much more still and quiet than I know the breed can be. Then there were the golden lab seeing-eye dogs I met at my last gym, also laser-focused with training. I guess there’s a reason why it costs at least $10k-$13k, just for the training alone.

          *sigh* I had a cockapoo/Scottish terrier mix growing up. (I was so mad when my folks had to put him down due to health problems but didn’t tell me.) I want a dog, I really do. I feel much more calm in the presence of a dog (I like my folks’ cat, but it’s not the same). Serious, no need to sell me on a dog… it’s just the money is not there for one. Trust me, many, many days I have tried to figure out how I could have one, and… just not happening yet.

          I don’t know. I just got my son on Social Security disability benefits (third person of the household on full disability now)… maybe we’ll have just enough to scrape for an untrained dog. There are just really a lot of obstacles right now.

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        • Oh no I completely understand how that goes. I’m bipolar as well, but luckiy, mild enough where I don’t need medication. My brother’s bipolar, which was severe, went from severe to mild/moderate after having a lab for a year. I could imagine that a trained service dog would be completely different in temperament than an untrained dog would be.

          Weirder things have happened though— maybe a dog with all its shots will just show up on your doorstep and ask for some love. I’ve heard weirder stories happen.

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    • p.s. you had a duplicate reply somehow so I got rid of the extra one, if that’s all right

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  3. So do you miss the old days of blogging?

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