the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero

A Hero’s (Inner) Journey: Boy, Autism, and Thanksgiving


Remember A Hero’s (Inner) Journey: Atonement with the Son?  That’s Boy there in the pictures, with me.

His autism and behavior disorders are still difficult to deal with at times, probably a bit more the latter elements.  This is aside from him bringing head lice home, as most any young children do.  Last Monday we took him back to his pediatrician, and Tuesday we started him on medication treatment.

This wasn’t without a LOT of careful consideration.  I’ve had my own hellish journey with psych meds, and when Princess started hers, I was careful and somewhat reluctant about it.  (She had a med break that was going to last a month, but she decided to resume after two weeks, after some trouble at school.)  With Boy, though, we had multiple people begging for something– his schoolteacher and his Primary (Sunday School) teacher, for one.  Even the specialist doc that did his formal evaluation for autism recommended he be treated, so we had all the paperwork as such sent in.

But what hurts me most right now is my sister-in-law refuses to come to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow because of him.  She tried to backtrack– my MIL said her reason yesterday was “too many people”.  Now, she is a little reclusive, and won’t live on her own, but I can smell bullshit a mile away.  She can’t handle Boy.

I guess I’d feel differently if she was in her own place, but she’s not.  At the funeral, she said she was still at home because Cimmy’s parents are “getting old”.


EDIT Nov. 28th: I talked to my FIL and I think in retrospect, I was rather harsh.  Cimmy suspects her little sister is agoraphobic, and it seems to have gotten worse in recent years.  Bill himself said he empathized as he has some difficulties in large crowds– like the state fair, and he’s submitted photography for many years.

I hope it’s understand that I am concerned, and that I enjoy her company.  When I’m not upset, I usually try to keep a “hands-off” approach, and I think that’s why we’ve generally enjoyed a rather warm relationship– that I try not to be pushy, and I hold back a lot more than Cimmy usually does.  I miss my sister-in-law and wished she could have been here– especially as the dinner was great.  (You’ll see photographic proof in a bit!)

Author: jaklumen

Wherever you see "jaklumen", that's me- the username is still unique as of the current year. Be aware that the facet you see, is only a small part of the me that is me.

10 thoughts on “A Hero’s (Inner) Journey: Boy, Autism, and Thanksgiving

  1. Wow, that’s hard. Families are hard and parenting is hard. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.


    • I talked to my father-in-law, and I think, in retrospect, I was rather harsh. SIL actually doesn’t get out very much– Cimmy suspects she’s agoraphobic, and it seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I still suspect that she’s not comfortable about Boy, but she doesn’t seem to leave the house much at all.


      • Oh. That’s quite sad really. She must be so lonely


        • Very much so. She’s in her thirties and all of her romantic relationships so far have ended. Quite a few previous beaus had been to previous Thanksgiving dinners– the last guy (last year? year previous? it was recent), I didn’t know they’d broken up until she told me.


  2. Hope things get better and kudos to you and wifey with patience. Autuism is hard to deal with.


  3. You still can…even if only for half an hr. Remember that. It’ll do you some good. One way trip to work for me is only 20 min. and I’m grateful for building in this short trip. A great de-stressor.


    • Really? I’m 375# and don’t have a bike. My wife doesn’t ride hers because she’s too heavy as well.

      Most of what I can do easily right now is water walking in the pool at the gym. Such a sad cry from the years when a friend of mine and I tandem biked over much of our hometown area, long ago. Then again, he’s in the hospital these days… with T-cell lymphoma.


      • Something to ponder over and how to make first steps, ur cycles.

        Happy holidays.


        • Happy holidays to you too, Jean. I would just point out that it’s been a very long, long journey– 5 years of physical therapy with 3 different offices, about 4 years rehab on my own at the gym, 3 years of water exercise classes, 6 rounds of cortisone, 1 fusion surgery, and now possibly a spinal cord stim implant 5 years after the surgery because the postsurgery pain is agonizing.

          I so haven’t taken this laying down!


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