For the short-term, foreseeable future, my posts on Iron John are in limbo. I’ve made some audio clips reading Robert Bly’s version of the tale, but I am waiting until Cimmy has enough willpower, motivation, time, focus… whatever to edit the clips.
I was tempted to upload them to Soundcloud and post them as they are. Or to try to edit them myself. But this pain is so intense and it’s hard to sit for any work for too long. Plus I want to let Cimmy do it… although inwardly I want to crack a whip, or wave a magical wand, and get our
messy house creative clutter sorted.
My parents are helping my maternal grandparents transition, i.e. get some help for Grandpa to help Grandma. They are with them now until tomorrow. On an earlier trip, they brought back some books and magazines, mostly old textbooks from Grandma’s time as a teacher.
I picked up one last night/early this morning called Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes. I thought it would have a compilation of tales, but it’s more of a primer. It mostly concerns Greco-Roman mythology, but there is a short section on the end about Norse mythology. I am primarily Anglo-Jute in my American heritage, so I guess these are ultimately the tales of my ancestors.
Edith Hamilton, the author, wrote much about the Norse mythos being strikingly different to the Greco-Roman one: the gods are solemn, conflict is ever at hand, and doom is prophesied to be inevitable. Cimmorene believes this grim outlook is the fault (or at least is marked by their forcible influence) of early Christian missionaries determined to stamp out paganism, but, it seems fitting to me nevertheless.
In fact, my father, being ill for over 20 years now, is trying to get me to accept that pain may be a part of the rest of my life. I think he is right, more than he realizes, in what I remember, but he does not, of a life before.
I can only hope that I will be able to face this pain with courage. If foreordination holds true, and the path to destiny is clear, my eventual demise is already written, but I dare not reveal that ancient source, now. It is not time. For now, I hope to be the father, husband, and all things that are asked of me now. I hope that I may do it with honor, virtue, and dignity.