As I said in the comments, I volunteered to write for Cimmy on Father’s Day to compliment her Mother’s Day posts. I did not get to that. But The Modern Philosopher has made it clear: ugly ties are at the top of the “don’t get” list for fathers!
All over the world, Dads are practicing their fake smiles so that they can appear to be ecstatic upon opening their gifts to discover yet another ugly tie.
According to UglyTies.com, the official site of Father’s Day, ugly tie sales are up 25% this year. Analysts aren’t sure if this is because there are more fathers in the world, or because more children have become horrible gift givers. Regardless, brace yourself for some ugly ties at the office tomorrow.
It is not clear when ugly ties became the traditional gift of Father’s Day, or why children would want to punish the men who gave them life and love them more than anything, but anthropologists are certain the items predate the birth of Christ. Some historians believe that Brutus’ original plan was to strangle Caesar with the ugliest of his Father’s Day gifts.
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