FREE THE SANDMAN!
Yes, I suggested a petition. Won’t you join me?
DISCLAIMER: This is purely a work of corny fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living, dead, or mythological, is purely ridiculous.
In a stunning move tonight, The Sandman surrendered to authorities after admitting to slipping Melatonin to problem sleepers. While it’s still not clear if this is a criminal offense since Melatonin is not a narcotic, Bangor Police Chief Theo Watkins said The Sandman will be held overnight while the District Attorney decides whether to press charges. Said Chief Watkins, “It is disturbing anytime an old man sneaks into your bedroom and makes you swallow something.”
The Sandman did not speak to reporters, but his lawyer, Cy Brown, talked to this Modern Philosopher. “My client was under a lot of pressure due to all the complaints he’d received from people who have been unable to sleep. Some of them even threatened to kill him if he didn’t put an end to their insomnia. While he is a magical being, he does succumb to stress and worries about his job security. My…
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