the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero

At the Journal Jar: Extracurricular Activities


Cimmy serves up this latest question at the Journal Jar:

“During your school years, were you ever in a drama, speech, sports, pep, or glee club? Tell about it.”

I didn’t participate in any clubs per se, but I did have a few projects.

One was a series of sketches for the “Brainbusters” assembly in high school– a showdown between the academic top 5 seniors and a panel of teachers. I had the idea for the first sketch, which was eponymously titled and was a parody of this Ghostbusters clip:

“Are you troubled by nerds, geeks, and know-it-alls? Brainbusters… we’re ready to believe you.”

The second combined parody of both the Super Poly-Grip and Life Alert ads:

Announcer: Let’s apply a layer of Super Poly-Grip to the seat to keep Grandma where she belongs: on the toilet.

“Grandma”, played by a young man in drag, sits on the toilet. She frantically presses what looks like a button on a necklace when she realizes she is stuck.

Dispatcher (sound recording by actor portraying “Grandma”): 911 Emergency.

Grandma: Halp! I’m sitting, and I can’t get up!

Don’t remember how much Life Alert was a source of humor? You will:

The last sketch was the Chia Pet Hair Club For Men.
It went something like this:

Young man (portrayed by jaklumen) looks into the air as if looking into a mirror, pawing at his forehead anxiously.

Announcer: Are you troubled by male-pattern baldness? Worry no more, with the Chia Pet Hair Club for Men. Just sprinkle the seeds and apply our special growth formula…

Another young man walks up to jaklumen and plants a brilliant neon green patch of costume fur on his forehead.

Announcer (continuing): …and you’ll have a nice, luscious new growth of hair. And now, try our new Chia Moustache and Chia Beard!

Man (providing testimonial) The Chia Pet Hair Club works so well. Not only am I the Chia Pet Hair Club President… but I’m also a client.

Hmm. Don’t remember Chia Pets or the Hair Club for Men? Check this out:

or maybe this will get you closer to the spirit of what we were doing:

This was shortly after two of my compadres decided to skip assemblies to play D&D. But they let me bow out to do this… and one of them was nice enough to let me borrow his glasses for a prop.

Author: jaklumen

Wherever you see "jaklumen", that's me- the username is still unique as of the current year. Be aware that the facet you see, is only a small part of the me that is me.

4 thoughts on “At the Journal Jar: Extracurricular Activities

  1. Wow, you were a comedian back in high school! I was too shy for the stage, but I wrote several plays for a drama class, and I submitted one to a student drama contest. (I didn’t win. I didn’t even get into the top three. *sigh*) It’s only recently that I’ve been able to speak in public: but I still can’t tell a joke in front of a group of people, not even at a party after I’ve had a drink or two. There’s just something about the timing that I haven’t mastered. Plus I giggle at my own jokes. Not good.


    • I came a long way, I guess. Onstage I was fine, but offstage… I couldn’t handle much recognition at all. Although I didn’t look shy, I was. It was very jarring to leave what I could just think of as imagining and get some sort of attention like fame.

      At about the same time this happened, I took a drama class to meet an English requirement, and got permission to take the main class instead of the entry one. We were required to work on projects, and I did set design. When a production came up, I gained a LOT more satisfaction being credited for behind the scenes work than performing in a supporting role.

      When I met Cimmy some years later at the university, she came to study as a theater tech major. So it was very cool.


    • p.s. Humor was the family weapon of choice (we tried to laugh more than cry). My cousins could beat me nine ways to Sunday on board games, but when it came to comedy… no contest.


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