the tao of jaklumen

the path of the sage must become the path of the hero

Catching up with jaklumen

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For those that are new to the blog, and a reminder in general: when I get a little more personal in posting, posts are handled in a time-sensitive manner.

This means that after a while, I lock it down with a password. I’d prefer to have content filtering (such as with LiveJournal), but the Powers That Be seem to have decreed that password management is the future. You can always ask me for the password, but if you can’t be fussed, that’s cool. Probably better that way.

You might have guessed that this is such a post.

That said, FUCK. I wanted to write a lot here about what’s been happening, but it’s… hard. And I shouldn’t force it, because I don’t need to trigger myself if I don’t need to. It’s not all terrible, but there are parts I’m not sure how to explain without feeling ugly.

So I’ll stick to the nice parts: Cimmy cleaned up the kitchen, and she did such a wonderful job. My father helped me clear out more of the storage space. Dinner was delicious: stuffing with turkey, pork sausage, onions, and mozzarella cheese on top of acorn squash. (I have a wonderful ex-Voxer to thank for that idea.)

Damn. That’s about it.

Author: jaklumen

Wherever you see "jaklumen", that's me- the username is still unique as of the current year. Be aware that the facet you see, is only a small part of the me that is me.

3 thoughts on “Catching up with jaklumen

  1. Squash is great! I’m sorry whatever’s going on. I’ve been “riled” up since my effing Step 4 and WAY too many questions from Sponsor2. I *think* I’m finally calming down a bit but that means I’m fighting depression. I’m not typically depressive (in spite of what I write on the blog–that’s my vent space, so it’s more apt to be well, venting). I’m typically pretty “jolly” as Gram’ld say. Ah, well. Life is hard. Sometimes it’s the stuff in front of you, sometimes the stuff behind and when they’re both in the fore-front of your mind? Sheeit. Hoping more calm, peace and joy to you and yours.

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    • I’ve been “riled” up since my effing Step 4 and WAY too many questions from Sponsor2.

      I’d been meaning to ask you about references like these… I guess it’s obvious now, but are you working the Steps? You totally have my empathy with any frustrations. I never really attended any 12-Step groups in person, but I did work on things by online means. I did some of my support group work that way, too. That said, I had real problems with my long-distance sponsor, whom I kept in touch with by e-mail. He fought hard against support group approaches, as did many other 12 Steppers in his circle. I felt undermined much of the time.

      I still think the 12-Step program is good… but I didn’t like to see others limit themselves by it, or try to limit others because it wasn’t the 12-Step way. It’s a long story for another time– or probably one that isn’t worth the time to rehash. No vale la pena, not worth the pain, that is.

      Needless to say, when I got a list of resources from my therapist recently, I was chagrined to see 12-Step groups and mental health support groups forming the bulk of the list. I’ve had my fill of both.

      in spite of what I write on the blog–that’s my vent space, so it’s more apt to be well, venting

      Nothing wrong with that. You aren’t pushy about your venting that I can tell. Perhaps you understand what I mean when I say LiveJournal really wasn’t the best introduction to blogging for me, and what’d I’d consider an example of how NOT to vent (because too many I met WERE apt to stir the pot of melodrama).

      I’m typically pretty “jolly” as Gram’ld say.

      I could use some more jolly.

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  2. Momma always said: ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.’ But, that was before blogs, e-mail, and other assorted new-age-technologies. Now you can say what you want/feel and a password or other safety measures can be employed to keep your ‘secret’.

    I hope December is a good month for you.

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