I can’t remember where I last talked about this… only that I got a rather flippant reply when I did.
I am sick and bloody tired of the stigma that is attached to Stay-At-Home-Dads, and househusbands. I don’t like answering the typical guy question: “So, what do you do for a living?” They are never satisfied with my honest answers.
I enjoy being a parent. But EVERY SINGLE magazine I pick up is “Mom.” “Mom.” “Mommy.” “Mom.” and it’s blatantly obvious in the advertisements, as if Madison Avenue believes that all dads still will have nothing to do directly with their children– because that’s Mom’s job. Sure, there are articles about SAHDs and such, but far, far, far too many keep the taboo in place.
One of the magazines I subscribe to myself is WIRED, and I read some of the blogs connected to it. One is “GeekDad”. For a while, that’s all there was. But some little shits had to bitch and whine about all the women that were contributing to the blog. No, they could not tell themselves “It says Geek Dad, but it’s become a blog for all Geek Parents.” So, GeekMom came into existence.
Quite a few of the contributors seem like they want to break down the walls, but the divide persists. I cringed when Jonathan Liu demurred and said he just “happened” to be working at home to be a SAHD. I hate it when dads make excuses to duck the lingering stigma. And then, over at GeekMom… well, they really do have the Mom bias in some ways because they are the ones that are talking the most about kids issues, and most of the regular commenters are women.
On a slightly different note, my world is estrogen-soaked. There aren’t many guys in my daily activities I can relate to. I can’t help it. Stereotypical guy stuff costs $$$– especially what many in my men’s group at church do. Firearms: $$$. 4X4 wheelin’: $$$. Fishing: $$$. Paintball: $$$. And so on.
What do I typically do? I do water aerobics and yoga for injury rehab. But of course: the vast overwhelming majority of participants are women. Yes, we have a few guys here and there, but the regulars are rare– only 1 or 2. The others that have come by just leave, and I know it’s partly because we guys are just not enough in number there, and partly it is because they go have to get “other stuff done”, but I’m still sure the two go hand in hand.
I’d love to get back into martial arts. I could do karate for free at the gym, but… really, no, really, I want to get involved with tai chi and Chinese martial arts. But… that still costs $$$– $$$ for the community classes, or $80/month to study at the one studio in the area that teaches Chinese forms.
Ugh. This seems like a pointless rant. Whatever.