In this particular entry, she's talking about chivalry, or rather, kind manners and etiquette on the dating scene. I think it's a very relevant and germane topic right now, as there's already been some discussion on it. In particular, this reminds me of a news article I read some time ago.
As seems so frequent on the 'Net, I have a lot of difficulty finding an article I read in print. But the point that jumped right out at me was that although "hookups" might be regarded as acceptable and modern, many women wanted a return to old-fashioned dating and courtship. Tally this referenced entry as another vote for the sentiment.
I want to emphasize that these notions are better (at least in my opinion) when they are a mutual understanding and given freely, not a demanded expectation. There's nothing I found more annoying when it was a browbeaten requirement. It's the idea that counts. Yes, many considerations were conceived of practicality, when women wore hoop skirts and the like, and some women think it egalitarian to practice what was once expected of the men, but I'm sure it is a general boon to social relations in general. And speaking as a married man, I must emphasize that it is still important to show chivalrous and genteel courtesy to one's spouse! It would seem to me that observing kind manners is to cultivate a committed relationship.
Anyway, Jaime and I had already discussed manners in her topic Students lie, cheat, steal, but say they're good, which was a recent Associated Press (AP) story. I said
Speaking of manners, actually, I think that might be the good starting point. It would be nice if schools would help make this focus (after all, isn't cheating and plagiarism a form of disrespect?), but until they do, I think I'll renew my efforts at home.
and she replied
As a teacher and educator, I would love it lots if parents could instil proper manners in their children… *hint hint* I've seen so many disrespectful children that it's truly sad. Because I work at a top-notch tutoring/supplemental education firm, I've been able to work with students more closely and try to teach them some form of respect… but I see so many who come in our doors, who have no repsect for their elders, or themselves.
So where is "manners for the masses"? I'm not sure a pat answer of "parents should teach their children" will suffice, because sometimes the parents are worse than the children. It wasn't that long ago that I was studying education, and it seems that it is fairly unlikely that it will be taught in the schools, either– focus seems too strong on improving standardized test scores. When I was in high school, the only thing I can think of that would come close to this was a "leadership" class taught by a very respected and honorable coach (search for "Craig Beverlin Kamiakin High School" and you'll see what I mean– he fought for music and drama departments, too), and I am guessing that some of the class fundamentals would have been beneficial to all students.
I'm thinking of a broad, comprehensive vision. There seems to be a smattering of it throughout the grade school and higher education institutions, from teaching children to follow basic rules to "alcohol education" for young adult undergraduate students, but nothing that I would think covers the full scope. Maybe I just think about it more because it's been a point Cimmy and I have struggled to educate our daughter on. She's very bright and demonstrated early on that she would have little difficulty with academia, but we have strived to catch her up as far as social skills. (We freely admit that she takes after both of us somewhat in that regard.)
It would be nice if we could get more assistance– if not in the public schools, then from other private and parochial organizations– through church, community, etc. I really do think it's that important, for everyone, of every age to learn the propriety of the anciently established guest/host relationship.
Crossposted to LJ, itemid = 1032, security = public, mask = 0.